I felt hurt, my heart was bleeding, my bleeding love. The world still spun around, people still worked regardless of my absence. If you treated me that way, then you deserved my ignorance.
It was a day off and I intended to stay all day in my bed, leaving the cold world outside. But everything didn’t turn out the way it planned. I got a text message from Siwon
“Guys. The meeting time has changed. Come and meet me at exactly 3pm in basketball yard. NO EXCUSE”
His NO EXCUSE was written in capital, which meant when you died, your soul still had to be there.
In the afternoon, it was an extremely sunny day. I felt like my skin was burned with sunshine but soon found a bench to sit down. The weather in Seoul sometimes is unbalance, sometimes it is too hot, sometimes it is too cold. Too much extreme…
Just like people’s emotion.
Here was Siwon. He was instructing other teammates how to play properly, it was just his usual way. It was rumored how great his body was, but today, with my bare eyes, I had to admit, it was totally perfect. He was half nude and his arms were hard. He was sweating. I didn’t know why I looked away, feeling so uncomfortable. I felt myself betraying Yoochun as I looked at Siwon’s body with a fascination. The guilty feeling was gradually killing me.
Yoochun came after me for a few seconds. And here came Yunho who wore a black hoodies. He seemed to be annoyed so much. From my point of view, Yunho must have been awaken by Siwon’s message
_”I can’t believe that the parking fee increased so much”- Yoochun complained
_”Hey, what’s it?”
Yunho took Yoochun’s wallet before he put it in the bag. There was a mini picture of Park Min Young there. Yoochun smiled shyly when got busted.
_”Wow, seems like we got Park Min Young’s biggest fan, huh”- Yunho showed me but I already knew it
_”Give me back my wallet”- Yoochun’s voice didn’t sound so irritated
_”Come on, buddy. You are so obsessed with her. Be careful, your girlfriend definitely won’t like it”- Yunho gave back Yoochun his wallet
_”I know. I won’t get caught easily”- Yoochun winked his eye at me, thanking me for keeping his secret
_”You know Park Min Young?”- I was surprised-“I thought that you disliked Korean drama”
_”Yeah. I do”- Yunho said-“I went to Lotus restaurant with my mother’s boyfriend where she was filming “A date with Park Min Young”, or some kind like that. She’s real good”
_”Sorry, with whom?”- I didn’t hear the very last words
_”My mother’s boyfriend”
Yunho replied emotionlessly. His mother got a boyfriend, which meant that his parents got divorced. Rarely did I see Yunho’s father who was said to be a businessman going overseas constantly. Yunho and me are long close friends but in terms of time. But at times I couldn’t understand him. If you are Yunho’s friend, don’t expect him to tell you his thing. Maybe when you asked him, of course, according to him, it was not a very big deal. In other word, he was not the type of taking everything too seriously. Everything was not worth telling me
_”Oh, I’m so sorry that your parents got divorced”- Yoochun, raising his voice, didn’t feel at ease
_”No, they didn’t break up… officially”- Yunho rejected- “They are pursuing an open marriage. They allow their partner to have an affair. You know, they feel cool about it…”
_”How could they do that?”
I asked with a disgusting look in my face. It is true that when an engine breaks down, it doesn’t mean the machine can’t work anymore. It can happen the same way in marriage. But when people stop having feeling towards each other, why on the earth do they have to pretend as if nothing has happened? If it was me, I’d rather leave than live with people I disliked
_”You kidos. Loving and living together are two separate matters. Like my parents. It’s all”- Yunho shook his shoulder
_”Im not a kid anymore”- I looked at him with a pout on my lips
_”I think I have to wait for a couple of years…”
That was the way Yunho always did. He always considered me a young kid that he used to protect in spite of the fact I was growing up
_”You’re right”- Yoochun signed-“Sometimes people fight and stop having emotions for each other then, but they just can’t let it go”
Oh, how much I wished that I could access Yoochun’s mind. He seemed so far away. His voice was so down, telling me that he was upset, but about what? I couldn’t acknowledge it.
From distance, we could see Siwon walk towards it. Now, he put on a T-shirt but it was transparent enough for me to see his nipples. I hated it when half naked Siwon stuck in my head. I shook my head so strongly that I felt so dizzy.
_”Why didn’t you call us after your team practice?”- Yunho almost shouted at him
_”Because I know that you’re going to be late again”.- Siwon held his hands in front of the chest.-“I got my eyes on you. You’re 15 minute late today. Guess what. If I called you guys after my team practice, it would be 4.15 pm that you reached here”
_”Heechul is the one coming late today”- I said
_”He got his family business but already submitted his work to me”- Siwon explained calmly
_”Well, I was the late one. Don’t be mad guy. Come on, I didn’t kill a mocking bird, just sometimes my watch doesn’t work properly and I feel sick in my stomach”- Yunho shrugged
_”I don’t give a damn about that two legged animal. Listen. I’ve had enough of your excuses”- Siwon sharpened his eyes-“I read the proposal we did and soon found out a lot of conflicts. The point is the problem identification didn’t match the literature review. I think the second part should be redone”
_”I searched it everywhere but couldn’t find information to match the problem identification”- Yunho lazily said, he was in charge of the literature review with Yoochun.- “It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack”
_”I think that it’s the same. The assignment is due this weekend, we don’t have enough time to search for more. Just change a few words”- Yoochun raised his voice
Yunho smiled brightly, feeling secured to have Yoochun by his side. Then I caught the facial expression of Siwon change. He didn’t like people objecting his ideas. His eyebrows were raised and he was about to say something, suddenly, the noise at the back caught our attention
It was hard for us to have a sight among those giants whose height was at least 1m90. Luckily, I was small and clever enough to have a certain place, but it turned out to be the thing that we’d better not see.
It was a man lying on the ground. His hair looked so messy and so was his beard. It gave me an expression that he didn’t shave for such a long time. Moreover, his clothes was mixed with dust, which made him look even worse. Was he dead or still alive?
_”Don’t worry, he just drank a cheap bottle of wine. He’s going to be sober soon”- Yunho said, looking at the bottle placed next to him.
_”Oh my god, the coach…”
A boy yelled out and we soon realized that he was Junsu. Did he just say that it was the basketball coach? At first I thought he was a beggar lost in the basketball team. Why did he look so pathetic?
He finally opened his eyes
_”Why the hell are you gathering here?”- He started to make noise- “Go home”
Why did he say those discouraging words? He was supposed to be the one that supported them. I didn’t get anything. Looking at my confusing face, Yoochun explained everything to me. Now I realized that I was such an outer space person because I didn’t know anything in the earth
Our school lacked revenue, so they couldn’t provide enough equipment and good conditions for all sport clubs. As the baseball team broke records and brought reputation for school, they were the priority. The school intended to expand baseball yard by removing basketball one. That meant basketball team had to be disbanded…
_”Now I believe that all basketball members are weird”
What Yunho said was what I thought. Really? Did it need to be that way? Drunk and yelled at students? Then I was informed that the coach dedicated his life for basketball team since the established day. Actually, it was heartbreaking. Seeing something that we like gradually slip out of our hand is the most hurtful part. Maybe he felt the same way. Then I looked at Siwon with a sad face. At some point, he was extreme, cruel and selfish, but at another point, he was passionate with basketball…
_”Just go home, we can’t win anyways”- The coach kept rolling on the ground, and Yunho was like “Eww”
_”Do you like basketball?”- I suddenly asked. As a consequence, a thousand of eyes looked at me as the center, which made me feel uncomfortable
_”Huh?”
_”We like basketball too. And really, the way to solve the problem with something we love is not to throw it away. Deal with it”
I found this line the most meaningful in The Simpson family series, and now, I was using it. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was definitely not the type that would like to catch attentions from people. I just did it based on my instinct. Now, I was the target of many people. I did regret saying those words now.
_”Yeah. Maybe my father has not been a very good one, but at least he taught me, giving up is just for losers”
Now, they began to look at Yunho like a freak.
